Rus kievan

Kievan Rus’ Type of Government. The dynasty that ruled Kievan Rus’ for nearly four hundred years emerged from warring pagan tribes in the area that later became Russia and the Ukraine. After consolidating their power through a series of conquests and alliances, the grand princes of Kiev built an impressive stronghold in this city on the Dnieper River that became the cultural, economic, and ... Kievan Rus was largely pagan until the late 10th century, when Vladimir the Great took power and introduced Christianity. The conversion actually resulted from a deal between Vladimir and the ... The Kievan Rus’ were a powerful people created by Viking invaders who ruled the Slavic tribes around the Baltic Sea and, in a way, became Slavs themselves. Their rule ultimately came to an end through family infighting and greed but contributed greatly to the rise of the Russian Empire. Kievan Rus, first East Slavic state. It reached its peak in the early to mid-11th century. Both the origin of the Kievan state and that of the name Rus, which came to be applied to it, remain matters of debate among historians. According to the traditional account presented in The Russian Primary Kievan Rus (862-1242 CE) was a medieval political federation located in modern-day Belarus, Ukraine, and part of Russia (the latter named for the Rus, a Scandinavian people). The name Kievan Rus is a modern-day (19th century CE) designation but has the same meaning as `land of the Rus’, which is how the region was referred to in the Middle Ages. Overview Kievan Rus' Kievan Rus' was a medieval polity and historical precedent to the modern Russian, Ukrainian, and Belarusian peoples. Although a loose federation of independent principalities for most of its existence, it was briefly united under the rules of Vladimir the Great and his son Yaroslav the Wise, with political power centered in Kiev (in modern Ukraine).

Sharing the History of Russia through its art.

2018.10.03 04:54 Baba_Jaga_II Sharing the History of Russia through its art.

Welcome to JewelsofRussia! We're a community dedicated to sharing the History of Russia through the Art and Artifacts! Rurik, Ivan the Terrible, Peter the Great, Catherine the Great, Nicholas Romanov and the Soviet Union. From Kievan Rus' to the Russian Federation, and everything in-between, this is the Story of Russia.
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2020.09.25 10:16 Temmiekula How was it possible to convert the Kievan Rus?

How were Byzantine Missionaries able to convert the East Slavic people to Orthodox in massive numbers without seemingly too much consequences?
submitted by Temmiekula to OrthodoxChristianity [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 05:17 TsarNikolai2 My karma history, along with some other information about my account

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2020.09.24 10:28 ConteCorvo Was Roman Law used in Medieval and Early Modern Russian political entities (XI-XVI centuries)?

Taking into account the vicinity of the Russian political entities during the aforementioned centuries (the Kievan Rus' , the Republic of Novgorod, the Grand Duchy of Moscow etc.) to the Byzantine Empire and the German Hansa, I postulate that maybe some parts of the Roman Law might have been acquired and used alongside traditional and customary laws. Or did there exist a completely autonomous juridical tradition?
submitted by ConteCorvo to AskHistorians [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 02:45 jamkid23 What if Jewish Khazaria, an empire in Eastern Europe, lasted a lot longer.

The Khazars were a kingdom in Eastern Europe that lied on the silk road. They traded a lot with both European and Asian polities. They originally allied with the Byzantines against Persia but later on the alliance ended and the Khazars got conquered by slavs from Kievan Rus'. Notably, the Khazar elite converted to Judaism but Khazar commoners were a mix of ethnic groups and religions.
What if the Byzantine alliance with the Khazars lasted until Byzantium's fall and most of the Khazar people converted to Judaism? How would a large Jewish-majority state impact the Middle Ages and beyond? Will Khazar be a refuge target for Jews being expelled from Christendom? Will Jews from the Reconquista head to Khazaria? Will victims of Russian pogroms head to Khazaria? Would the Holocaust happen if there was already a Jewish-majority country?
And how will the Khazars fare and interact with other groups in the region like Mongols and Russians and Turks and and Greeks and Timurids and Poles?
submitted by jamkid23 to HistoryWhatIf [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 01:23 Femkronan5 Bannerlord balance idea Sturgia

So my recent playthrough of the game has been as a Kievan style warrior of Sturgia! Even though the devs have made effort into balancing Sturgia to not suck as much as before, they still get rekt by the mighty Khuzaits! As a student of history I’ve read that during the mongol hordes reign of terror the Rus principlaities adapted their military doctrine to match the nomadic steppe people. Horse archery was taken into the army composition and such.
Maybe that could help Sturgia to be a more balanced kingdom, let the Druznich have a semi Decent bow and arrows to counter the khuzaits and even Vlandia and their tank knights? What do you guys think?
submitted by Femkronan5 to mountandblade [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 22:49 NeuroKat12 create a timeline with no Russia/surviving Kievan Rus and a surviving Byzantium

submitted by NeuroKat12 to HistoricalWhatIf [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 22:49 NeuroKat12 create a timeline with no Russia/surviving Kievan Rus and a surviving Byzantium

submitted by NeuroKat12 to HistoryWhatIf [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 05:26 UchuuStranger Volga Tatar results (+looking for fresh Turk results)

Volga Tatar results (+looking for fresh Turk results)
So here's what I got:

https://preview.redd.it/3vyyw93yxcn51.png?width=1222&format=png&auto=webp&s=8f5d3da227833752ebcc5991911745c80d16ae13
Now I will attempt to interpret these results and explain the notes I did on the diagram. I originate from Russia (my parents and close relatives all still live in Russia), and I am 7/8 Volga Tatar 1/8 Bashkir (or, to be precise, 5/32 Bashkir - my parents have genealogy records going 7 generations back). Though the exact numbers don't matter much, because Volga Tatars and Bashkirs are very close both genetically and culturally, so they can be considered a single ethnicity for our purposes, and I don't consider myself a "mixed" person. Just to be clear, Volga Tatars and Bashkirs are not related to Russians or any other Slavic ethnicities, we are indigenous Russian peoples that have language, culture and religion similar to Turkish. How come my report is so multi-colored then?
I did some research, and this is the picture I came up with (please correct me if I made a mistake anywhere). I'm pretty confident that the purple segments of my DNA comes from ancient Turks who inhabited Central Asia about 2000 years ago. 23andMe currently calls this segment "Anatolian", but this name is not exactly accurate, because Turks did not settle in Anatolia all the way until the 11th century, and I have reasons to believe that my ancestors in particular split from them earlier than that.
The green segment most likely also comes from them, ancient Turks were central Asians after all. While it's possible that some of the green is a later admixture, I find it hard to imagine that all of the green is a later admixture. And this video also seems to suggest that modern Turks have some Central Asian DNA. In order to confirm this, I'd like to hear from people whose all four grandparents are Turks and who took 23andMe DNA test. I found some of the Turkish results posted online, but it appears that the results dating back more than a year from now had different map allocations. In particular, Kazakhstan was considered East Asia back then, rather than Central Asia, and a few other countries in that region were considered West Asia compared to now. That leads me to believe that the results have recently been updated, and that compared to a year ago, now 23andMe might allocate a part of DNA to Central Asia for Turkish customers. Perhaps even my purple segment should be colored green instead (or possibly blue - see below), as I definitely don't have any ancestors who literally came from Anatolia. I'd love to hear from Turkish customers to be proven wrong though.
Anyway, the crucial point in genesis of my ancestors happened in the 7th century: that's when a faction of ancient Turks near the Black Sea split off and mixed with some other Indo-Europeans (Thracians? my results suggest that I do have some DNA in common with southern Europeans) to found the nation of Bulgars. The Great Old Bulgaria was short-lived, however, and under pressure from Khazars it fell apart, and different groups of Bulgars had to migrate elsewhere. One of the two largest of them went west, mixed with local Slavs, and founded the First Bulgarian Empire (a predecessor of modern Bulgaria). Another went north-east, mixed with local Finno-Ugric peoples, and founded Volga Bulgaria (a predecessor of modern Tatarstan). Both of these states became sedentary as a result.
I believe that the bulk of ancestry of modern Volga Tatars, Bashkirs and Chuvash people is coming from Volga Bulgars, and that except for the Mongolian admixture in the 13th century as a result of Batu Khan's conquest (it was devastating but short-lived, so the East Asian admixture was quickly reduced to insignificant portion), the genetic composition of Volga Tatars and Bashkirs remained relatively unchanged. I don't believe there was much mixing with Slavs, if any, and if there was, it happened before the 10th century, when Volga Bulgaria adopted Islam and Kievan Rus adopted Orthodox Christianity. Unfortunately, the way 23andMe does its ancestry composition right now does not allow to effectively distinguish Slavic DNA from DNA of indigenous Russian peoples who are not Slavs, so even if I had a Russian ancestor (which is unlikely), I would have no way of knowing by this test.
If you see a flaw in my reasoning, have an ancestry composition that can contribute to understanding of the whole picture (in addition to Turkish, it would be interesting to see Bulgarian, Chuvash, Kazakh, Altai/Yakut/Siberian Tatar compositions), or just have anything to add in general, leave a comment below.
submitted by UchuuStranger to 23andme [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 18:52 iliekcats- if this doesnt work i lost hope

📷
Hi, you're on a rock, floating in space. Pretty cool, huh? Some of it's water. Fuck it, actually, most of it's water. I can't even get from here to there without buying a boat. It's sad. I'm sad. I miss you.
H O W D I D T H I S H A P P E N ?
A long time ago... actually, never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right? Like I said, it didn't happen. Nothing was never anywhere. That's why it's been everywhere. It's been so everywhere, you don't need a "where". You don't even need a "when". That's how "every" it gets.
...
Forget this, I wanna be something, go somewhere, do something. I want things to change, I want to invent time and space, and I know it's possible because everything is here, and it probably already happened. I just don't know when to start... and that's exactly where it started.

Woah, I paused it. I think there's a universe now. What's it made of?
Q U A R K S A N D S T U F F
Ah, that's a thing, in a place! Don't like it? Try a new place, at a different time. Try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier... but it's not empty yet. It's still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.

Great news! The quarks are now happily married in groups of three, called a "proton" or a "neutron", and there's something else flying around that wants to join in, but can't cause it's still too
H O T

Great news! The protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other! Some of them even doubled up.

Great news! The electrons have now joined in.
Congratulations, THE WORLD IS NOW a bunch of gas in space... but it's getting closer together...
<10 million years later>
...and it's getting closer together...
<500 million years later>
...and it's getting closer toget-
BOOMI T ' S A S T A R
New shit just got made! Some stars burn out and die. Bigger stars burn out and die with passion and make some brand new way crazier shit.
S P A C E D U S T
...which allows for newer and more interesting stars to be made, and then die and explode into
E V E N C R A Z I E R S P A C E D U S T
So now, stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. Like this ball of flaming rock, for example...

Holy shit, we just got hit by another ball of flaming rocks, and it kind of... made a mess, which is
N O W T H E M O O N
Weather update! It's raining rocks from outer space. Weather update! Those rocks might have had water inside of them and now there's hot steam in the sky. Weather update! Cooler temperatures today and the floor is no longer lava. Weather update! ...it's raining. Severe flooding alert! The entire world is now an ocean. Volcano alert!
T H A T 'S L A N D !
there's life in the ocean.
What?
S O M E T H I N G ' S A L I V E I N T H E O C E A N
Oh, cool! Like, a plant or an animal? No, a microscopic speck! It lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever...

Oh yeah, and it can do that.

It has secret instructions written inside itself, telling it how to build another one of itself. So, that's pretty nifty, I would say. Tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?
N O W Y O U C A N E A T S U N L I G H T
"Using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food."
T A S T E T H E S U N
Side effect: Now there's oxygen everywhere and the sky is blue. Then the Earth might have been a snowball for a while, maybe even a couple of times.
It's a sponge, it's a plant, it's a worm, and some other types of weird, stranger water bugs and strange fish.
I T ' S T H E C A M B R I A N E X P L O S I O N
Wow, that's animals and stuff, but we're still in the ocean. "Hey, can we go on land?"
N O
"Why?"
T H E S U N I S A D E A D L Y L A Z E R
"Oh, okay."

N O T A N Y M O R E T H E R E ' S A B L A N K E T
Now the animals can go on land. Come on animals, let's go on land! "Nope, can't walk yet, and there's no food yet, so I don't care."
<100 million years later>
Okay, will you learn to walk if there's plants up here? "Maybe," said some bugs, and fish.
"Eh."
"Eh."
"Eh."

"Okay, so I can go on land, but I have to go back in the water to
H A V E B A B I E S
Idea: Learn to use an egg. "I was already doing that!" Use a stronger egg, put water in it, have a baby on land, in an egg. Water is in the egg. Baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg. "Works for me."
B Y E B Y E O C E A N
<50 million years later>
And now everything's huge, including bugs. Wanna see a map of the land? Sure.

Oh, fuck, now everything's dead. Just kidding, here are the survivors. Keep your eye on this one, because it's about to become...
<75 million years later>
...the dinosaurs. Here's another map of the land. Yeah, it broke apart. Don't worry about it, does that all the time. Here comes a meteor.

A N D T H E D I N O S A U R S A R E G O N E
It's mammal time, here come the mammals. Look at those breasts. Now they're gonna dominate the world, but one of them just learned how to grab stuff and walk. No, like, walk like that, and grab stuff at the same time, and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.
"Ouch."
And set things on fire.
"Yeouch."
And make crazy sounds with their voice.
"Gneurshk."
Which can mean different things.
T H A T ' S A H U M A N P E R S O N
And now they're everywhere...almost.
I C E A G E
What? You can walk over here? Cool!
N O T A N Y M O R E
Well, I guess we're stuck here. Let's review: There's people on the planet, and they're chasing their food. "Fuck it, time to plant some grass. Look at this, I get to control the food now. Now, everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. Let's all build houses, except mine is bigger because I own the food." This is great! I wonder if anyone else is doing this?
Tired of using rocks for everything? Use metal! It's underground. Better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping.
G U E S S W H A T H A P P E N S N E X T ?
More food, and more people who came to buy the food. Now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales, and now you need house for people to live in and people to make the houses and now there's more people to make more things for more people and now there's business, money, writing, laws, power.
S O C I E T Y
Coming soon to a dank river valley near you! Meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.
Why is all my metal so lame and lumpy? Tired of using lame, sad metal? Introducing:
B R O N Z E
Made from special ingredient: Tin, from the far lands of Tin Land. I don't know, my dealer won't tell me where he gets it. Also, guess what?
E G Y P T
Meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. Now we're getting somewhere. Also...
C H I N A
And did I mention...
I N D U S R I V E R V A L L E Y C I V I L I Z A T I O N

N O R T E C H I C O
The Middle East is getting more complicated. Maybe because it's in the middle of the East. Knock knock, er, clop clop, it's the people with the... horses, and they made an empire, and then everyone else copied their horses.
G R E E K S
Ah, look, it must be the Greeks... er, a beta version of the Greeks. Let's check in with the Indus River Valley Civilization... they're gone. Guess who's not gone?
C H I N AN E W A R R I V A L S I N I N D I A M A Y B E I T W A S T H O S E H O R S E P E O P L E I W A S T A L K I N G A B O U T O R T H E I R C O U S I N S O R S O M E T H I N G A N D T H E Y W R O T E S O M E H Y M N S A N D M A N T R A S A N D S T U F F
You could make a religion out of this.
There's the Bronze Age collapse.
N O W T H E P H O E N I C I A N S C A N G E T D O W N T O B U S I N E S S
Also, can we switch to a metal that's a little easier to find? Thanks. Look who came back to Israel: It's the twelve tribes of Israel.
A N D T H E Y B E L I E V E I N G O D
Just one, though. He's got, like, a ten step program.
Here's some huge heads, must be the Olmecs. The Phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies. Here comes the Assyrian Empire. Never mind, it's the Babyloni- Media-
I T ' S T H E P E R S I A N E M P I R E
Wow, that's big.

Ah, the Buddha was just enlightened! "Who's the Buddha?" This guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we're all dying. You could make a religion out of this!
Oops, China just broke, but while it was breaking, Confucius was figuring out how to have good morals.
Ah, the Greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff, and right over here, Alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire Persian Empire. It's a great idea, he was great... and now he's dead. Hopefully the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them.
Knock knock, it's Chandragupta. He says "Get the hell out of here. Will you get the hell out of here if I give you 500 elephants?" "Okay, thanks, bye."
T I M E T O C O N Q U E R A L L O F I N D I A
Or...
M O S T O F I N D I A
But what about this part? That's the Tamil Kings, nobody conquers the Tamil Kings. Who are the Tamil Kings?
M E R C H A N T S P R O B A B L Y A N D T H E Y ' V E G O T S P I C E S
"Who would like to buy the spices?" "Me!" said the Arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.
Hey, China put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy. Actually, they have three main philosophies.



Out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city.

Let's check the Greekification levels of the Greekified kingdoms. GREEKIFICATION OVERLOAD! "Bye," said the Parthians. "Bye," said the Jews. "Hi," said the Parthians, taking over the entire place. "Heeeeey" said the Romans, eating the entire Mediterranean for breakfast. "Thanks for invading our homeland," said the Jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland.
"Hi, everything's great," said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which actually makes him more popular. You could make a religion out of this!
Want silk? Now you can buy it from China. They just made a
B R A N D N E W R O A D T O T H E W O R L D

Or you can
G E T T H E R E O N W A T E R
"Sick! New trade routes!" said India, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast. Hmm, that's a good place for an epic trading kingdom.
There goes Buddhism, travelling up the Silk Road. I wonder if it will reach China before it collapses again?

Remember the Persian Empire? "Yep," said the Persians, making a new one. Axum is getting so powerful, they would like to build a long stick. Has anyone populated Madagascar yet? Let's do it together!
C H I N A I S W H O L E A G A I NT H E N I T B R O K E A G A I N
Still can't cross the Sahara Desert? Try camels.
H E L L Y E A H N O W W E ' V E G O T B U S I N E S S
...said the Ghana Empire, selling lots of gold... and slaves.
"Hi, I'm a member of the Roman Empire, and I was wondering...
I S L O V I N G J E S U S L E G A L Y E T
"No."
"Actually, okay, sure," said Constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his
M A I N R I V A L
Don't worry about Rome, it won't fall.
I T ' S T H E G O L D E N A G E O F I N D I A
There's the Gupta Empire, not Chandragupta, just Gupta... first name Chandra... the First.
Guess who's in Rome?
B A R B A R I A N S
What's a barbarian? "Non-Romans," said the Romans, being invaded by non-Romans. R.I.P. Roman Empire... actually, just half of it, the other half is just fine, but it's not in Rome anymore, so let's give it a new name.
T H E M A Y A N S H A V E F I G U R E D O U T T H E S T A R S
Oh, and here's a huge city. Population: Everyone. The Göktürks have taken over the entire Eurasian steppe. Great job, Göktürks. How's India? Broken. How's China?
B A C K T O G E T H E R
How's those trading kingdoms?
B I G G E R A N D T H E R E ' S M O R E O F T H E M
Korea has three kingdoms. Japan has a kingdom, it's the Sunrise Kingdom.

Deep in the Arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real God whispers in Muhammad's ear. So, he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and tells them their gods are all fake, and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. You could make a religion out of this, and maybe conquer the world as well.
The Roman empire is long gone, but somehow, the Pope is still the Pope. Plus, there's
N E W K I N G D O M S A L L O V E R E U R O P E
I wonder if there is room for Moors?
Here's all the wisdom in a house. It's the Baghdad House of Wisdom, just in time for the
I S L A M I C G O L D E N A G E
"Let's bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the Swahili on the Swahili Coast," said the Swahili on the Swahili Coast.
Remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? Someone owns that now!
Wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?
The Franks have the biggest kingdom in Europe, and the Pope is so proud that he invites the King over for Christmas. "Surprise! You're the new Roman Emperor!" said the Pope, pretending to still be part of the Roman Empire. Then, the Franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called France and not-France.
The Northerners, or just "Norse" if you don't have much time, are exploring. They go north, from the north to the northern north, and they find some land. Two types of land, and they name them accordingly.


They also invade some other places and get called many names, such as "Vikings". There's the Rus, the Kievan Rus. Are they Vikings? "I don't think so," said the Kievan Rus. Okay, fair enough.
The Pope is ready to make some more emperors of the Roman Empire: The Holy Roman Empire. It's actually Germany, but don't worry about it.
New kingdoms!
*C H R I S T I A N I Z E A L L T H E K I N G D O M S
Which brand would you like?
"Mine's better."
"Mine's better."
"Mine's better."
"Time to conquer England," said William.
It's a bird, it's a plane!
I T ' S T H E S E L J U K T U R K S
"Aah!" said the Byzantine Empire, who's getting so small and almost doesn't exist anymore. "We need help!" They need help, so they call the Pope. "Hey Pope, can you help us get rid of the Seljuks, maybe take back the Holy Land on the way? C'mon, I know you want to take back the Holy Land." "Yes, I do actually want to do that. Let's do a Crusade."
C R U S A D E
They did many Crusades, some of which almost didn't fail, but at least the Italians got some sweet trade deals.
Goodbye Mayans.
H E L L O T O L T E C S
Goodbye Toltecs.
H E L L O M I S S I S S I P P I
Look at those mounds.
There's the Pueblo. I always wondered how to build a town in a cliff.
Guess who's here? Khmer. Where? Here, and Pagan is there. Vietnam unconquered itself, Korea just became itself, and Japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government. China just invented bombs and typing, and the Mongols just invaded most of the Universe. Nice going, Genghis! I bet that will last a long time.

Some of the Islamic Turks were unaffected by the Mongol invasions because they were too busy invading India.
Is it Tonga time? I think it's Tonga time.

I just figured out where the Swahili gets all their gold. Look at this chad! It means "lake". There's an empire there, right in the middle of
A F R I C A
The King of Mali is so rich, he's going on tour to let everyone know. "Wow, that guy's rich," everyone said.
The Christians are doing a great job reconquering Iberia, which will soon be called Spain and not-Spain. Please remain Christian, we will check in later to see if you are still Christian when you least expect it.
Whoops, half of Europe just died.
M I N G
China's back, yay!
Hey, Khmer, time to share. New kingdoms, here and there. Oh, look who controls all the islands, it's the Mahajapit.

Majahapit.

Mapajahit.

Mahapajit.

Mapajahit.

Ma... ja... pa... hit?

Oh, Italy's real rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. It's kinda like a rebirth. Here's a printer, let's make books!
So you think you can conquer the Byzantine Empire? "Yep," said the Ottoman Turks. Nice job, Ottoman Turks. Oops, you missed a spot. Don't forget to ban Europe from the Indian spice trade. "What? That's bullshit!" said Portugal, spiceless.
W E L L I G U E S S W E ' L L H A V E T O F I N D A N O T H E R W A Y T O I N D I A
"Wait!" said Christopher Columbus, probably smoking crack. "If the world is round, let's go this way to India!" "Nah, don't worry, we already got this," said Portugal. So, Chris goes to Spain. "Hey Spain, wanna hire me to find India by going around back of the world?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No." "wtf"
"Please?"
"...okay."
So he sails into the ocean and discovers... more ocean, and then discovers the Indies and Japan! Let's draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world.
The Aztec and the Inca empires are off to a great start. I wonder if they know that Europe just discovered their continent.
The Habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families, they might have to start marrying each other.
Move over, Lithuania, here comes Moscow. Ivan wants to make Russia great again. Move over, Timurids, maybe go invade India or something. Persia just made Persia Persian again. Let's make it the other kind of Islam, the one where we thought the first guy should've been the other guy.
"Hey Christians, do you sin? Now you can buy your way out of Hell!" "That's bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that's a scam, fuck the Church, here's 95 reasons why," said Martin Luther, in his new book which might have accidentally started the Protestant Reformation.
"You know what would be magnificent?" said Suleiman, wearing an onion hat. "What if the Ottoman Empire was... really big?" which it is now. "What if Russia was big?" said Ivan, trying not to be terrible.
Portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire Indian Ocean, including the spice trade, and then that dream was real. And Spain realized that this is not India, but they pillaged it anyway. "Damn," said England and France, "we gotta start pillaging some stuff." Then the Dutch revolt, and all the hipsters moved to Amsterdam. "Damn," said Amsterdam, "...we gotta start pillaging some stuff."
Question one: Can you get to India from North America? No, but at least there's beaver. Question two: Steal the spice trade. That's not a question, but the Dutch did it anyway.
S U G A R
Guess where all the sugar is made? In Brazil... stolen! In the Caribbean, and it's so goddamn profitable, you might forget to do slavery.
The next thing on Russia's to-do list is to get bigger.
Britain and France are having a friendly discussion about who should control the world, more specifically, Ohio. Then, it escalates into a seven-year discussion, giving Prussia a chance to show Austria who's boss. But, what about Britain and France, did they figure out who's boss? Yes, they did, it's Britain. Guess who's broke? Also Britain. So, they start taxing the hell out of America. "Fuck you!" said America, declaring their independence and fighting for it, and France helps them win. Now, France is broke, and Britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent.
Wait, if France is broke, why do the King and Queen still wear such fancy dresses? "Let's overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!" said Robespierre, cutting everybody's head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off. You can make a reli-
No, don't.
Haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. "Why didn't we think of this before?"
Wait, who's in charge of France now?
M E
Said Napoleon, trying to take over Europe. Luckily, they banished him to an island.
B U T H E C A M E B A C K
Luckily, they banished him to another island.
There goes Latin America, becoming independent in the Latin American wars of independence.
Britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make
M A N Y D I F F E R E N T T Y P E S O F M A C H I N E S A N D F A C T O R I E S W I T H M A C H I N E S I N T H E M S O T H E Y C A N M A K E A L O T O F P R O D U C T S R E A L F A S T
Then they invent some trains and conquer India, and maybe put some trains there. "Hey, China!" said Britain, "buy stuff from us!" "Nah dude, we already got everything," says China, so Britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked actually, but then China made it illegal and dumped it all in the sea, so Britain threw a hissy fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island.
Britain and Russia are playing a game where they try to stop the other person from conquering Afghanistan. Also,
T H E S U L T A N O F O M A N L I V E S I N Z A N Z I B A R N O W
That's just where he lives.
India just had a revolution and they would like to govern themselves now. "Nope," said Britain, governing them even harder than before.

T E C H N O L O G Y I S A B O U T T O G O C R A Z Y
The United States finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. It's bad, they decided, and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the Mexicans too.
"I know, let's rape Africa!" said Europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest.
T H E Y N E V E R G O T E T H I O P I ^^^^^^A
Britain and France are still hungry.
T H E Y N E V E R G O T T H A I L A N ^^^^^^D
The United States ran out of destiny to manifest, so they're looking for more.
H A W A I IC U B A
Wait, Spain controls Cuba. "Well, blame something on them and go to war. What should we blame on Spain?"

"Let's blame the Maine on Spain." So they blame the Maine on Spain. Now we're in business. To celebrate, they kick Panama out of Panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans.
Britain just found oil in the Middle East.
I T M A K E S C A R S G ^^^^^^O
China is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government... which is accidentally weaker and is controlled by a guy from the previous government.
Europe hasn't had a war since the last war, so they start World War One. Look at those guns! It's gonna be a great war, so great we won't need a second one. After it's over, they blame Germany.
Russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government, now everyone's paycheck is the same.
C O M M U N I S M I N T H E S O V I E T U N I O N
The Arabs revolt and Britain helps, now the Ottoman Empire is gone, so we can give the
J E W I S H P E O P L E A P L A C E T O L I V E
Hopefully the Arabs won't mind.
"Let's cut the cake!" said Sykes and Picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-Ottoman-anymore-empire.
E X C E P T T U R K E Y T U R K E Y M A K E S A B R A N D N E W T U R K E Y
And then the Saudis conquer Arabia. It just seemed like the right thing to do.

"Hello?" "Yes, it's the 1920's calling. Let's get to a car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies! The economy is great and it will probably be great forever... just kidding."
Germany's back, featuring Hitler, the angry mustache model, and he's mad at the Jews for existing.
Japan is finally conquering the East, and they're so excited, they rape Nanking way too hard. They should probably just deny it.
Hitler's out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all the Jews is a bad idea, but he kills himself before they could explain it to him.
T H A T ' S W O R L D W A R T W O
Bonus round! Pacific Showdown! United States vs. Japan! FIGHT!


Finish him!

Let's unite all the nations and have some
W O R L D P E A C E
Seems legit.
"Hi, I'm Gandhi, and if Britain doesn't get the hell out of India, I'm going to starve myself in public."

"Wow, that worked?"
Bonus, now there's Pakistan. Actually, two Pakistans. One of them can be Bangladesh later.
The Jews and the Arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. "Me!" they both said at the same time. Let's divide up the lands so we're both happy.
S I K E ! T H E Y B O T H G E T A N G R I E R
Look out, China! There's a new China in China! What's on the menu? Communism! "No thanks," said the other China, escaping to an island. I wonder which one is the real China?
There's the Korean War, Korea vs. Korea! Nobody wins, then it's on pause forever. Let's meet the sponsors. Oh, it's the two global superpowers. They're having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which one is an evil virus of Satan.
And they both have atom bombs.
FIGHT!
Wait, no, that would be the end of the world. Let's just keep it cool and spy on each other instead... and make sure we have enough atom bombs. "I'll race you to space!"


Now let's make more countries fight themselves.
Europe is tired of pillaging other continents, and the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged, so here's a new map with new countries. Now you can't tell who they're being pillaged by.
The United States finally decided whether racism is good or bad. They decided it's bad and the world agrees. South Africa might need another minute to think about it.
Let's check the world population!

Woah.
Okay.
The Soviet Union decides to relax a little and accidentally falls apart.
Europe makes a union so now they can all use the same money, except Britain, because they don't feel likt it.
Let's check the mail. Surprise, it's on the computer!
Whoops, someone just attacked America, I bet they'll remember that.
Phone call. Surprise, it's in your pocket! Wanna learn everything? Surprise, it's on the computer! Now your phone's a computer, which is in your pocket!
Whoops, the economy just crashed. Don't worry, the big banks won't fail, because they're not supposed to.
Surprise! Flying robots... with bombs!

Wanna print a brain?
Some people have no friends. Some people have no food. The globe is warming.
A N D T H E O C E A N I S F U L L O F P L A S T I C
"Let's save the planet!" said everybody, not knowing how.
"Let's invent a thing inventor," said the thing inventor inventor after being invented by a thing inventor. That's pretty cool.
By the way, where the hell are we?
THANKS FOR WATCHING HISTORY I HOPE I MENTIONED EVERYTHING

submitted by iliekcats- to OneWordBan [link] [comments]


2020.09.12 15:36 canadian-weed Architecture of Kievan Rus' - Wikipedia

Architecture of Kievan Rus' - Wikipedia submitted by canadian-weed to quatria [link] [comments]


2020.09.11 05:35 Arch_Globalist A Brief History of Belarus

The people of Belarus are descended from the East Slavs.
Early History
987 = Principality of Polotsk is established around this time, and it governed a large part of modern Belarus. Izyaslav, son of Vladimir the Great (Grand Duke of Kiev), becomes Prince of Polotsk and makes it autonomous from Kievan Rus'.
1001 = Bryachislav, son of Izyaslav, becomes Prince and rules for 43 years.
1044 = Vseslav, son of Byachislav, becomes Prince and rules for 57 years.
1066 = Saint Sophia Cathedral is built under the reign of Prince Vseslav.
1067 = Battle on the Nemiga River. Kievan Rus’ defeats the Principality of Polotsk.
1307 = Principality of Polotsk is absorbed into the Grand Duchy of Lithuania.
1569 = Union of Lublin creates the Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth, which unites the Kingdom of Poland) and the Grand Duchy of Lithuania
1772 = First Partition of Poland. Russian Empire annexes the northeast strip of Belarus from the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth.
1793 = Second Partition of Poland. Russian Empire annexes more of the eastern part of Belarus from the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, including Minsk.
1795 = Third Partition of Poland. Russian Empire annexes the rest of Belarus from the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth.
Soviet Belarus
1918 = Belarus proclaimed independence as the Belarusian Democratic Republic after the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk was signed in March. German troops were still occupying Belarus until December when they began returning to Germany. When the Soviet Red Army moved in, the Belarusian Democratic Republic government was deposed and went into exile where it claims to the present day to be the legitimate government of Belarus.
1919 = Lithuanian–Byelorussian Soviet Socialist Republic. A merger of Belarus and eastern Lithuania that only lasted 5 months before the Red Army lost eastern Lithuania in the Lithuanian–Soviet War.
1920 = Byelorussian Soviet Socialist Republic is established, but soon loses nearly half its territory to Poland.
1921 = Peace of Riga ends the Polish–Soviet War. Poland officially annexes western Belarus with a population of over a million Belarusians.
1939 = Soviet invasion of Poland. Soviet forces conquer eastern Poland. western Belarus is annexed by the Soviets and added to the Byelorussian Soviet Socialist Republic.
1941 = Germany invades the Soviet Union, and as the Soviet troops retreated, the NKVD prisoner massacres were carried out. Belarus remains under German occupation for 3 years. The Holocaust in Byelorussia. Over a million people (over 800,000 were Jews) are killed in Belarus, most were shot by Nazi death squads. Slutsk affair. Nazi death squads murder 4,000 Jews in 2 days along with thousands of others.
1943 = Khatyn massacre. 156 Belarusians are slaughtered by the Nazis.
1944 = Operation Bagration. Soviet forces invade and conquer Belarus from the Nazis.
1945 = the Byelorussian Soviet Socialist Republic becomes a founding member of the United Nations. Even though it is part of the Soviet Union, Stalin demanded that Belarus (and Ukraine) become a member so the Soviet Union would have extra votes.
1953 = Stalin dies; since 1917 approximately 600,000 Belarusians had been killed by Soviet repression.
1986 = Chernobyl disaster in Ukraine is close to the border of Belarus. 60% of the radioactive fallout landed in Belarus.
Independence
1991 = becomes an independent nation as the Republic of Belarus. Stanislav Shushkevich, Chairman of the Belarusian Supreme Soviet, becomes the first head of government until a democratic election is held. Chairman Shushkevich gave up the Soviet nuclear arsenal in Belarus.
1993 = Alexander Lukashenko, Chairman of the anti-corruption committee, accused Chairman Shushkevich of corruption. After losing a vote of confidence in the Belarusian Supreme Council, Shushkevich is replaced with Myechyslaw Hyrb.
1994 = Lukashenko becomes President in the first and only democratic election in Belarus, winning 45% of the vote. He stays in power for 26 years to the present day.
1996 = President Lukashenko forces a fraudulent referendum to be held that amends the Constitution and he becomes a de facto dictator.
2001 = Dictator Lukashenko wins a fraudulent election.
2004 = Dictator Lukashenko has a fraudulent referendum to further amend the Constitution.
2006 = Dictator Lukashenko wins another fraudulent election.
2010 = Dictator Lukashenko wins another fraudulent election.
2015 = Dictator Lukashenko wins another fraudulent election.
2020 = Dictator Lukashenko wins another fraudulent election. 2020 Belarusian protests against the dictatorship are ongoing.
Conclusion
Minsk is the capital and largest city.
The future of dictator Lukashenko is up in the air; the conclusion to the protests is unknown as of this writing. Sviatlana Tsikhanouskaya claims to be the legitimate elected President and has formed the Coordination Council) to challenge Lukashenko's right to rule.
submitted by Arch_Globalist to RunagateRampant [link] [comments]


2020.09.11 02:30 Specific-Winter9255 List of largest empires

List of largest empires
Largest Empires
Link Wikipédia 2020 PT: https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lista_dos_maiores_impérios
Link Wikipédia 2020 ES: https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anexo:Imperios_por_superficie
This list is not based on any theory, but in facts on history and geography and old maps.
But many results are based on the theory of "Rein Taagepera" mentioned in English Wikipedia for editors, although the results change from day to day, the Wikipédia in English, but that are other issues.
His theory is based on the effective control of each country and thus reduces the area of ​​the countries, but I am not a mathematician or a theorist, but one historian of the history of antiquity, and I know facts that go back centuries 13,14 until now.
His theory is meaningless because from the moment a country defends its borders, conquers lands and states, manages the people and the economy, The control in the country are absolute and effective much more in antiquity, and much more in one empire.
And there are so short-lived Empires despite their large territory that it is very difficult to consider an empire, but rather to consider an invasion of territory,
compared to other long-lasting Empires that have asserted themselves in humanity.
Empires Existed: "Administratives" , "Colonials" and "Informals"
These are the differences of various Empires that existed in humanity.
"Source, Studies and Calculations at the end of the list"
Empire Maximum land area "Million km2"
The largest empires by territorial extension:
British Empire 35.5
Mongol Empire 24.0
Russian Empire 22.8
Qing dynasty 14.7
Spanish Empire 13.7 – 20
Portuguese Empire 13,4 –18
Second French colonial empire) 11.5
Abbasid Caliphate 11.1
Umayyad Caliphate 11.1
Yuan dynasty 11.0
Xiongnu Empire 9.0
Empire of Brazil 8.5
Empire of Japan 7.4
Iberian Union 7.1
Eastern Han dynasty 6.5
Ming dynasty 6.5
Rashidun Caliphate 6.4
Göktürk Khaganate 6.0
Golden Horde Khanate 6.0
Western Han dynasty 6.0
Achaemenid Empire 5.5
Tang dynasty 5.4
Macedonian Empire 5.2
Ottoman Empire 5.2
Northern Yuan dynasty 5.0
Roman Empire 5.0
Xin dynasty 4.7
Tibetan Empire 4.6
First Mexican Empire 4.429
Timurid Empire 4.4
Fatimid Caliphate 4.1
Eastern Turkic Khaganate 4.0
Hunnic Empire 4.0
Mughal Empire 4.0
Great Seljuq Empire 3.9
Seleucid Empire 3.9
Italian Empire 3,798
Ilkhanate 3.75
Chagatai Khanate 3.5
Sasanian Empire 3.5
Western Turkic Khaganate 3.5
Western Xiongnu 3.5
First French colonial empire 3.4
Ghaznavid Empire 3.4
Maurya Empire 3.4–5.0
Delhi Sultanate 3.2
German colonial empire 3.147
Song dynasty 3.1
Uyghur Khaganate 3.1
Western Jin dynasty 3.1
Danish Empire 3.0
Sui dynasty 3.0
Samanid Empire 2.85
Eastern Jin dynasty 2.8
Median EmpireTemplate:Efn 2.8
Parthian Empire 2.8
Rouran Khaganate 2.8
Byzantine Empire 2.7–2.8
Indo-Scythian Kingdom 2.6
Liao dynasty 2.6
Greco-Bactrian Kingdom 2.5
Later Zhao 2.5
Maratha Empire 2.5
Belgian colonial empire 2.47
Jin dynasty )2.3
Khwarazmian Empire 2.3–3.6
Qin dynasty 2.3
First French Empire 2.1
Kievan Rus' 2.1
Mamluk Sultanate) 2.1
Almohad Caliphate 2.0–2.3
Cao Wei 2.0
Former Qin 2.0
Former Zhao 2.0
Inca Empire 2.0
Kushan Empire 2.0–2.5
Liu Song dynasty 2.0
Northern Wei 2.0
Western Roman Empire 2.0
Dutch Empire 2.08
Ayyubid dynasty 1.7–2.0
Gupta Empire 1.7–3.5
Hephthalite Empire 1.7–4.0
Buyid dynasty 1.6
Eastern Wu 1.5
Northern Qi 1.5
Northern Xiongnu 1.5
Northern Zhou 1.5
Assyria 1.4
Eastern Maurya Empire 1.3
Liang dynasty 1.3
Qajar Empire 1.29
Kingdom of Aksum 1.25
Shang dynasty 1.25
Francia 1.2
Srivijaya 1.2
Indo-Greek Kingdom 1.1
Mali Empire 1.1
Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth 1.1
Almoravid dynasty 1.0
Empire of Harsha 1.0
Gurjara-Pratihara dynasty 1.0
Holy Roman Empire 1.0
Khazar Khanate 1.0–3.0
Khmer Empire 1.0
New Kingdom of Egypt 1.0
Ptolemaic Kingdom 1.0
Qara Khitai 1.0–1.5
Scythia 1.0
Shu Han 1.0
Tahirid dynasty 1.0
Western Xia 1.0
Swedish Empire 0.99
Nazi Germany 0.824
Akkadian Empire 0.8
Avar Khaganate 0.8
Chu) 0.8 Huns 0.8
Songhai Empire 0.8
Hyksos 0.65
Twenty-sixth Dynasty of Egypt 0.65
Austro-Hungarian Empire 0.62
Caliphate of Córdoba 0.6
Visigothic Kingdom 0.6
Zhou dynasty 0.55
Emirate of Córdoba 0.5
Kosala 0.5
Lydia 0.5
Magadha 0.5
Middle Kingdom of Egypt 0.5
Neo-Babylonian Empire 0.5
Satavahana dynasty 0.5
Twenty-fifth Dynasty of Egypt 0.5
Western Satraps 0.5
New Hittite Kingdom 0.45
Xia dynasty 0.45
Kingdom of France (Middle Ages)) 0.4
Middle Assyrian Empire 0.4
Old Kingdom of Egypt 0.4
Sokoto Caliphate 0.4
Ancient Carthage 0.3
Indus Valley Civilisation 0.3
Mitanni 0.3
First Babylonian Empire 0.25
Aztec Empire 0.22
Zulu Empire 0.21
Elamite Empire 0.2
Phrygia 0.2
Second Dynasty of Isin 0.2
Urartu 0.2
Middle Hittite Kingdom 0.15
Old Assyrian Empire 0.15
Old Hittite Empire 0.15
Larsa 0.1
Neo-Sumerian Empire 0.1
Tarascan empire 0.075
Source, Studies and Calculations "PDF" "link": https://phe.rockefeller.edu/docs/empires_booklet.pdf
Spanish Empire and Portuguese Empire
Cantino planisphere (1502) Cantino world map is a manuscript Portuguese world map preserved at the Biblioteca Estense in Modena, Italy.
I am talking about the Portuguese Empire because it is often ignored, erased worldwide, every people talks about the Portuguese discoveries, but very few people talk or know about their conquests.
So I leave here some more "historic maps"
Empire Portuguese on Asia
Cantino planisphere (1502) \"again\" Greenland, Canadian Coast and Brazilian Coast and of course coast of Africa claimed by the Portuguese
Map of the Portuguese Domingos Teixeira made in \"1573\", Flag of the Portuguese cross and flag of Portugal, in All of Africa, in All of India, in Arabia, Great Part of Brazil, West of Canada, China and more, despite many portuguese land names have been changed, there are still thousands of Portuguese land names around the world, Brazil almost complete, in Canada one exemple, \"Terra Nova\" \"São João da Terra Nova\" State in South Africa \"Natal \", and many more ...
\"Most Recent Map\" Africa Austro-Equatorial Claimed by Portugal in 1884
Map of Brazil Portuguese in 1821 \"Kingdom of Portugal Brazil and Algarves\"
submitted by Specific-Winter9255 to u/Specific-Winter9255 [link] [comments]


2020.09.10 17:20 Ronin3993 Cultural Innovations (Russian Culture)

So I figured I'd poll the community. How does everyone feel about the Russian culture as it stands? Currently if you are trying to play as Rurik or Dyre it feels like a massive double edged sword. On one hand you get the extra stability of positive popular opinion/russian vassals and potentially the ability to form the empire of slavia. However to do so means you sacrifice access to the longships, which is arguably the best regional tech in the game. Which honestly feels weird that the Russians don't have access to (without placing your culture in Scandanavia), since Kievan Rus massively utilized their rivers.
Honestly, I think this goes to reflect part of the problem with cultural innovations. Don't get me wrong on the whole I'm a fan of how tech is connected to the culture, but it feels like this one of those cases where it doesn't make sense. The men who came to Russia on longships and decided to embrace the local culture suddenly forgets how to make and use the longships they came in on. Personally, I think the ideal would be to make a more dynamic melting pot situation, maybe something where if a powerful ruler embraced a local culture it would generate a hybrid culture; similar to how the game does for English, Norman, or Outremer but with more freedom. Of course I realize this would be programming nightmare with the AI generating millions of hybrid cultures (we've all seen the bordergore and crazy decisions the AI makes). The alternative could be that when powerful rulers of a culture convert to another culture it gives that culture 1-2 innovations from the culture the ruler had.
TLDR; Russians don't have initial access to longships which makes their river systems unusable. How does that make you feel?
submitted by Ronin3993 to CrusaderKings [link] [comments]


2020.09.10 14:45 Specific-Winter9255 Largest Empires By Territorial Extension Wiki

Largest Empires By Territorial Extension Wiki
Largest Empires
Link Wikipédia 2020 PT: https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lista_dos_maiores_impérios
Link Wikipédia 2020 ES: https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anexo:Imperios_por_superficie
This list is not based on any theory, but in facts on history and geography and old maps.
But many results are based on the theory of "Rein Taagepera" mentioned in English Wikipedia for editors, although the results change from day to day, the Wikipédia in English, but that are other issues.
His theory is based on the effective control of each country and thus reduces the area of ​​the countries, but I am not a mathematician or a theorist, but one historian of the history of antiquity, and I know facts that go back centuries 13,14 until now.
His theory is meaningless because from the moment a country defends its borders, conquers lands and states, manages the people and the economy, The control in the country are absolute and effective much more in antiquity, and much more in one empire.
And there are so short-lived Empires despite their large territory that it is very difficult to consider an empire, but rather to consider an invasion of territory,
compared to other long-lasting Empires that have asserted themselves in humanity.
Empires Existed: "Administratives" , "Colonials" and "Informals"
These are the differences of various Empires that existed in humanity.
"Source, Studies and Calculations at the end of the list"
Empire Maximum land area "Million km2"
The largest empires by territorial extension:
British Empire 35.5
Mongol Empire 24.0
Russian Empire 22.8
Qing dynasty 14.7
Spanish Empire 13.7 – 20
Portuguese Empire 13,4 –18
Second French colonial empire) 11.5
Abbasid Caliphate 11.1
Umayyad Caliphate 11.1
Yuan dynasty 11.0
Xiongnu Empire 9.0
Empire of Brazil 8.5
Empire of Japan 7.4
Iberian Union 7.1
Eastern Han dynasty 6.5
Ming dynasty 6.5
Rashidun Caliphate 6.4
Göktürk Khaganate 6.0
Golden Horde Khanate 6.0
Western Han dynasty 6.0
Achaemenid Empire 5.5
Tang dynasty 5.4
Macedonian Empire 5.2
Ottoman Empire 5.2
Northern Yuan dynasty 5.0
Roman Empire 5.0
Xin dynasty 4.7
Tibetan Empire 4.6
First Mexican Empire 4.429
Timurid Empire 4.4
Fatimid Caliphate 4.1
Eastern Turkic Khaganate 4.0
Hunnic Empire 4.0
Mughal Empire 4.0
Great Seljuq Empire 3.9
Seleucid Empire 3.9
Italian Empire 3,798
Ilkhanate 3.75
Chagatai Khanate 3.5
Sasanian Empire 3.5
Western Turkic Khaganate 3.5
Western Xiongnu 3.5
First French colonial empire 3.4
Ghaznavid Empire 3.4
Maurya Empire 3.4–5.0
Delhi Sultanate 3.2
German colonial empire 3.147
Song dynasty 3.1
Uyghur Khaganate 3.1
Western Jin dynasty 3.1
Danish Empire 3.0
Sui dynasty 3.0
Samanid Empire 2.85
Eastern Jin dynasty 2.8
Median EmpireTemplate:Efn 2.8
Parthian Empire 2.8
Rouran Khaganate 2.8
Byzantine Empire 2.7–2.8
Indo-Scythian Kingdom 2.6
Liao dynasty 2.6
Greco-Bactrian Kingdom 2.5
Later Zhao 2.5
Maratha Empire 2.5
Belgian colonial empire 2.47
Jin dynasty )2.3
Khwarazmian Empire 2.3–3.6
Qin dynasty 2.3
First French Empire 2.1
Kievan Rus' 2.1
Mamluk Sultanate) 2.1
Almohad Caliphate 2.0–2.3
Cao Wei 2.0
Former Qin 2.0
Former Zhao 2.0
Inca Empire 2.0
Kushan Empire 2.0–2.5
Liu Song dynasty 2.0
Northern Wei 2.0
Western Roman Empire 2.0
Dutch Empire 2.08
Ayyubid dynasty 1.7–2.0
Gupta Empire 1.7–3.5
Hephthalite Empire 1.7–4.0
Buyid dynasty 1.6
Eastern Wu 1.5
Northern Qi 1.5
Northern Xiongnu 1.5
Northern Zhou 1.5
Assyria 1.4
Eastern Maurya Empire 1.3
Liang dynasty 1.3
Qajar Empire 1.29
Kingdom of Aksum 1.25
Shang dynasty 1.25
Francia 1.2
Srivijaya 1.2
Indo-Greek Kingdom 1.1
Mali Empire 1.1
Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth 1.1
Almoravid dynasty 1.0
Empire of Harsha 1.0
Gurjara-Pratihara dynasty 1.0
Holy Roman Empire 1.0
Khazar Khanate 1.0–3.0
Khmer Empire 1.0
New Kingdom of Egypt 1.0
Ptolemaic Kingdom 1.0
Qara Khitai 1.0–1.5
Scythia 1.0
Shu Han 1.0
Tahirid dynasty 1.0
Western Xia 1.0
Swedish Empire 0.99
Nazi Germany 0.824
Akkadian Empire 0.8
Avar Khaganate 0.8
Chu) 0.8 Huns 0.8
Songhai Empire 0.8
Hyksos 0.65
Twenty-sixth Dynasty of Egypt 0.65
Austro-Hungarian Empire 0.62
Caliphate of Córdoba 0.6
Visigothic Kingdom 0.6
Zhou dynasty 0.55
Emirate of Córdoba 0.5
Kosala 0.5
Lydia 0.5
Magadha 0.5
Middle Kingdom of Egypt 0.5
Neo-Babylonian Empire 0.5
Satavahana dynasty 0.5
Twenty-fifth Dynasty of Egypt 0.5
Western Satraps 0.5
New Hittite Kingdom 0.45
Xia dynasty 0.45
Kingdom of France (Middle Ages)) 0.4
Middle Assyrian Empire 0.4
Old Kingdom of Egypt 0.4
Sokoto Caliphate 0.4
Ancient Carthage 0.3
Indus Valley Civilisation 0.3
Mitanni 0.3
First Babylonian Empire 0.25
Aztec Empire 0.22
Zulu Empire 0.21
Elamite Empire 0.2
Phrygia 0.2
Second Dynasty of Isin 0.2
Urartu 0.2
Middle Hittite Kingdom 0.15
Old Assyrian Empire 0.15
Old Hittite Empire 0.15
Larsa 0.1
Neo-Sumerian Empire 0.1
Tarascan empire 0.075
Source, Studies and Calculations "PDF" "link": https://phe.rockefeller.edu/docs/empires_booklet.pdf
Spanish Empire and Portuguese Empire
Cantino planisphere (1502) Cantino world map is a manuscript Portuguese world map preserved at the Biblioteca Estense in Modena, Italy.
I am talking about the Portuguese Empire because it is often ignored, erased worldwide, every people talks about the Portuguese discoveries, but very few people talk or know about their conquests.
So I leave here some more "historic maps"
Empire Portuguese Asia
Cantino planisphere (1502) \"again\" Greenland, Canadian Coast and Brazilian Coast and of course coast of Africa claimed by the Portuguese
Map of the Portuguese Domingos Teixeira made in \"1573\", Flag of the Portuguese cross and flag of Portugal, in All of Africa, in All of India, in Arabia, Great Part of Brazil, West of Canada, China and more, despite many portuguese land names have been changed, there are still thousands of Portuguese land names around the world, Brazil almost complete, in Canada one exemple, \"Terra Nova\" \"São João da Terra Nova\" State in South Africa \"Natal \", and many more ..
\"Most Recent Map\" Africa Austro-Equatorial Claimed by Portugal in 1884
Map of Brazil Portuguese in 1821 \"Kingdom of Portugal Brazil and Algarves\"
submitted by Specific-Winter9255 to u/Specific-Winter9255 [link] [comments]


2020.09.06 22:04 Aynirg Principality of Tmutarakan' under Kievan Rus' - temp. Mstislav Volodimirovich the Brave - Imitation of Byzantine Miliresion of Basil II Bulgaroktonos - circa 990-1024

Principality of Tmutarakan' under Kievan Rus' - temp. Mstislav Volodimirovich the Brave - Imitation of Byzantine Miliresion of Basil II Bulgaroktonos - circa 990-1024 submitted by Aynirg to AncientCoins [link] [comments]


2020.09.05 13:33 DelightfulRainbow205 history of the entire world, i guess

hi, you're on a rock floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it's water. fuck it. actually, most of it's water. i can't even get from here to there without buying a boat. it's sad. i'm sad. i miss you.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
a long time ago... actually, never. and also now. nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn't happen. nothing was never anywhere. that's why it's been everywhere. it's been so "everywhere," you don't need a "where." you don't even need a "when." that's how "every" it gets.
forget this. i wanna be something. go somewhere. do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it's possible because everything is here, and it probably already happened. i just don't know when to start.
and that's exactly where it started.
big bang— pause
woah. i paused it. i think there's a universe now. what's it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that's a thing! in a place! don't like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it's not empty yet! it's still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.
about no seconds later
great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three, called a "proton" and a "neutron." and there's something else flying around that wants to join in, but can't cause it's too HOT.
ten minutes later
great news! the protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other! some of them even doubled up.
about 380,000 years later
great news! the electrons have now joined in. congratulations! the world is now... a bunch of gas in space. but it's getting closer together...
ten million years later
and it's getting closer together...
500 million years later
and it's getting closer togeth—
star is born
it's a star
new shit just got made!
some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit.
space dust!
which allows for newer and more interesting stars to be made, and then die and explode into even crazier space dust!
so now, stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example.
meteor hits earth
holy shit, we just got hit by another ball of flaming rocks. and it kind of... made a mess. which is now the moon
weather update: it's raining rocks from outer space.
weather update: those rocks might've had water inside of them and now there's hot steam in the sky.
weather update: cooler temperatures today and the floor is no longer lava.
weather update... it's raining.
severe flooding alert, the entire world is now an ocean.
volcano alert.
that's land!
there'slifeintheocean
what?
something's alive in the ocean
oh, cool. like a plant, or an animal? no! a microscopic speck. it lives in the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever.
microscopic speck asexually reproduces
oh yeah, and it can do that.
reproduces three more times
it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that's pretty nifty, i would say.
tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?
now you can eat sunlight!
using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food.
taste the sun!
side effect, now there's oxygen everywhere and the sky is blue.
then the earth might've been a snowball for a while. maybe even a couple of times.
it's a sponge... it's a plant... it's a worm, and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish.
it's the Cambrian explosion: "wow, that's animals and stuff"
but we're still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land?
NO
why?
the sun is a deadly laser
oh okay.
not anymore, there's a blanket
now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let's go on land!
"nope, can't walk yet."
"and there's no food yet, so i don't care."
100 million years later
okay, will you learn to walk if there's plants up here?
"maybe," said some bugs. and fish.
fish gasps for air
five million years later
okay, so i can go on land, but i have to go back in the water to have babies!
idea: learn to use an egg.
"i was already doing that"
use a stronger egg. put water in it. have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg. baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg.
works for me. bye bye ocean
50 million years later
and now everything's huge. including bugs.
wanna see a map of the land? sure.
Permian extinction
oh, fuck, now everything's dead.
just kidding, here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one, because it's about to become
75 million years later
the dinosaurs.
here's another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart. don't worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor.
meteor strikes
and the dinosaurs are gone
it's mammal time, here come the mammals. look at those breasts.
now they're gonna dominate the world, but one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like that. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.
"ouch"
and set things on fire.
"yeouch"
and make crazy sounds with their voice:
"gneurshk"
which can mean different things.
that's a human person!
and now they're everywhere. almost.
ice age!
what? you can walk over here? cool.
not anymore
well i guess we're stuck here now.
let's review: there's people on the planet. and they're chasing their food.
fuck it. time to plant some grass.
look at this. i get to control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let's all build houses, except mine is bigger because i own the food.
this is great! i wonder if anyone else is doing this.
tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it's underground.
better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping.
guess what happens next?
more food. and more people, who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in and people to make the houses and now there's more people and they invent things which makes things better and more people come and there's more farming and more people to make more things for more people and now there's business, money, writing, laws, power,
Society
coming soon to a dank river valley near you.
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.
why is all my metal so lame and lumpy?
tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing: bronze. made from special ingredient tin from the far lands of Tin Land. i dunno, my dealer won't tell me where he gets it. also, guess what?
egypt
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we're getting somewhere. also,
china
and did i mention
indus river valley civilization
society count: 5
...
norte chico
the middle east is getting more complicated. maybe because it's in the middle of the east.
knock knock, er, clop clop. it's the... people with the horses? and they made an empire. and then everyone else copied their horses.
greeks!
ah look, it must be the greeks! er, a beta version of the greeks.
let's check in with the indus river valley civilization: they're gone. guess who's not gone? china.
new arrivals from india... maybe it's those horse people i was talking about... or their cousins or something...
and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff...
you could make a religion out of this.
there's the bronze age collapse.
now the phoenicians can get down to business
also, can we switch to a metal that's a little easier to find? thanks.
look who came back to israel, it's the twelve tribes of israel.
and they believe in God
just one though, and he's got like a ten-step program.
here's some huge heads. must be the olmecs.
the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies.
here comes the assyrian empire. never mind, it's the babyloni— media—
it's the Persian Empire: "wow, that's big"
enlightenment
ah, the buddha was just enlightened. who's the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we're all dying. you could make a religion out of this.
oops, china just broke. but while it was breaking, confucius was figuring out how to have good morals.
enlightenment
ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff.
and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it's a great idea. he was... great. and now he's dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them.
knock knock, it's chandragupta. he says "get the hell out of here. will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? okay, thanks, bye"
time to conquer all of india
er
most of india
but what about this part? that's the tamil kings. no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they've got spices!
who would like to buy the spices? "me!" said the arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.
hey, china put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy. actually, they have three main philosophies:
confucianism: have good morals
taoism: go with the flow
legalism: fuck you, obey the law
out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city.
nomads ransack china
let's check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload. bye, said the parthians. bye, said the jews. hi, said the parthians, taking over the entire place.
heyyyyy, said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. "thanks for invading our homeland," said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland.
"hi, everything's great," said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which actually makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this.
want silk? now you can buy it from china. they just made a brand new road to the world.
conquers vietnam
or you can get there on water
"sick! new trade routes!" said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast.
hmm, that's a good place for an epic trading kingdom.
there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it'll reach china before it collapses again.
remember the persian empire? yep, said the persians, making a new one.
axum is getting so powerful, they would like to build a long stick.
has anyone populated madagascar yet? let's do it together.
china is whole again...
...then it broke again
still can't cross the sahara desert? try camels.
"hell yeah! now we've got business," said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold. and slaves.
"hi, i'm a member of the roman empire, and i was wondering
is loving jesus legal yet?"
"no"
"actually, okay sure," said constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his main rival. don't worry about rome, it won't fall.
it's the golden age of india
there's the gupta empire, not chandragupta, just gupta. first name chandra. the first.
guess who's in rome? barbarians. what's a barbarian? "non-romans," said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. actually just half of it, the other half is just fine, but it's not in rome anymore, so let's give it a new name.
the mayans have figured out the stars
oh, and here's a huge city, population: everyone.
the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks.
how's india? broken. how's china? back together.
how's those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there's more of them.
korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it's the sunrise kingdom.
intermission
deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad's ear. so, he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this, and maybe conquer the world as well.
the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus, there's new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there's room for moors.
here's all the wisdom. in a house. it's the baghdad house of wisdom! just in time for the islamic golden age!
"let's bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast," said the swahili on the swahili coast.
remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now.
wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?
the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. "surprise! you're the new roman emporer!" said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not-france.
the northerners, er, just "norse" if you don't have much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north. and they find some land— two types of land!— and they name them accordingly.
prankd
they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as "vikings."
there's the rus! the kievan rus! are they vikings? "i don't think so," said the kievan rus. okay, fair enough.
the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire. the holy roman empire! it's actually germany, but don't worry about it. new kingdoms—
CRISTIANIZE ALL THE KINGDOMS!!
which brand would you like?
"mine's better"
"mine's better"
"mine's better"
"time to conquer england," said william.
it's a bird! it's a plane! it's the seljuk turks!
"aah!" said the byzantine empire, who's getting so small and almost doesn't exist anymore. "we need help!" they need help! so they call the pope.
"hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you want to take back the holy land."
"yes, i do actually want to do that. let's do a crusade."
crusade!
they did many crusades. some of which almost didn't fail. but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals.
goodbye mayans. hello toltecs! goodbye toltecs. hello mississippi! look at those mounds.
there's the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff.
guess who's here? khmer. where? here! and pagan is there. vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government.
china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis! i bet that will last a long time.
some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india.
is it tonga time? i think it's tonga time.
i just figured out where the swahili gets all of their gold.
look at this chad! it means "lake." there's an empire there! right in the middle of africa!
the king of mali is so rich, he's going on tour to let everyone know. "wow, that guy's rich," everyone said.
the christians are doing a great job reconquering iberia, which will soon be called spain and not-spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you're still christian when you least expect.
whoops, half of europe just died.
ming! china's back, yay!
hey, khmer. time to share. new kingdoms, here and there.
oh, look who controls all of the islands. it's the mahajapit.
majahapit.
mapajahit.
mahapajit.
mapajahit.
ma-ja-pa-hit?
oh, italy's real rich. time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it's kinda like a rebirth.
here's a printer. let's make books!
so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? yep, said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. oops, you missed a spot. don't forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade.
"what? that's bullshit," said portugal, spiceless.
"well i guess we'll have to find another way to india"
"wait!" said christopher columbus, probably smoking crack. "if the world is round, let's go this way to india."
"nah, don't worry, we already got this," said portugal.
so chris goes to spain. "hey spain, wanna hire me to find india by going around back of the world?"
"no"
"please?"
"no"
"please?"
"wtf"
"no"
"please?"
"...okay"
so he sails into the ocean, and discovers... more ocean. and then discovers the indies, and japan! let's draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world.
the aztec and the inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent.
the hapsburgs are marrying into so many royal families, they might have to start marrying each other.
move over, lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again.
move over, timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again.
let's make it the other kind of islam. the one where we thought the first guy should've been the other guy.
hey, christians! do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell!
"that's bullshit. this whole thing is bullshit. that's a scam. fuck the church. here's 95 reasons why," said martin luther, in his new book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation.
"you know what would be magnificent?" said suleiman wearing an onion hat. "what if the ottoman empire was... really big?" which it is now.
"what if russia was big?" said ivan, trying not to be terrible.
portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade. and then that dream was real.
and spain realized that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. "damn," said england and france. "we gotta start pillaging some stuff." then the dutch revolt, and all the hipsters moved to amsterdam. "damn," said amsterdam. "we gotta start pillaging some stuff."
question one: can you get to india from north america? no, but at least there's beaver.
question two: steal the spice trade. that's not a question, but the dutch did it anyway.
and sugar... guess where all of the sugar is made? in brazil! stolen! in the caribbean! and it's so goddamn profitable, you might forget to not do slavery.
the next thing on russia's to-do list is to get bigger.
britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world. more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven-year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who's boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who's boss? yes they did! it's britain.
guess who's broke? also britain! so they start taxing the hell out of america. "fuck you!" says america, declaring their independence and fighting for it, and france helps them win. now france is broke, and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent.
wait, if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses?
"let's overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!" said robespierre, cutting everybody's heads off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off.
you could make a rel— no, don't.
haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. "why didn't we think of this before?"
wait, who's in charge of france now? "me," said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back! luckily, they banished him to another island.
there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin american wars of independence.
britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains. and conquer india and maybe put some trains there.
"hey, china!" said britain. "buy stuff from us!" "nah, dude, we already got everything," says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked, actually. but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island.
britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop the other person from conquering afghanistan.
also, the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now: "that's just where he lives."
india just had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. "nope," said britain, governing them even harder than before.
incoming telegram: HI I JUST SENT YOU A MESSAGE THRU A WIRE
technology is about to go crazy!
the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. it's bad, they decided, and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the mexicans too.
"i know! let's rape africa!" said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia...
britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand...
the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they're looking for more:
hawaii!
cuba!
wait, spain controls cuba.
well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on spain?
u.s.s. maine sinks
"let's blame the maine on spain."
so they blame the maine on spain.
now we're in business.
to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans.
britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go...
china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and is controlled by a guy from the previous government.
europe hasn't had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns! it's gonna be a great war, so great we won't need a second one. after it's over, they blame germany.
russia went on strike, and the workers overthrew the government. now, everyone's paycheck is the same. communism in the soviet union...
the arabs revolt and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won't mind.
"let's cut the cake!" said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore-empire.
except turkey! turkey makes a brand new turkey!
and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do.
phone rings
hello? yes, it's the 1920's calling. let's get to a car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy is great and it will probably be great forever. just kidding.
germany's back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model, and he's mad at the jews for existing.
japan is finally conquering the east, and they're so excited, they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it.
hitler's out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all of the jews is a bad idea. but he kills himself because they could explain it to him. that's world war two!
bonus round! pacific showdown
united states vs. japan
FIGHT!!
united states drops two extinction balls on japan
FINISH HIM!
let's unite all the nations and have some world peace! seems legit.
"hi, im gandhi, and if britain doesn't get the hell out of india, i'm going to starve myself in public."
britain leaves
"wow, that worked?"
bonus! now there's pakistan. actually two pakistans, one of them can be bangladesh later.
the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. "me!" they both said at the same time. let's divide up the lands so we're both happy. SIKE! they both get angrier!
look out, china! there's a new china in china. what's on the menu? communism! no thanks, said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china...?
there's the korean war. korea versus korea! nobody wins, then its on pause forever.
let's meet the sponsors. oh, it's the two global superpowers. they're having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which one is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. FIGHT!! wait, no, that would be the end of the world. let's just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs.
"i'll race you to space."
united states plants a flag on the moon
now let's make more countries fight themselves.
europe is tired of pillaging other continents, and the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here's a new map with new countries. now you can't tell who they're being pillaged by.
the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it's bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it.
let's check the world population!
woah. okay.
technology is better too, that might keep happening.
the soviet union decides to relax a little, and accidentally falls apart.
europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money. except britain, because they don't feel like it.
let's check the mail... surprise! it's on the computer!
whoops, someone just attacked america. i bet they'll remember that.
phone call! surprise! it's in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise! it's on the computer! now your phone's a computer, which is in your pocket!
whoops, the economy just crashed. don't worry, the big banks won't fail, because they're not supposed to.
surprise!... flying robots. with bombs.
wanna print a brain?
some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic!
"let's save the planet!" said everybody, not knowing how.
"let's invent a thing inventor," said the thing inventor inventor after being invented by a thing inventor. that's pretty cool.
by the way, where the hell are we?
thanks for watching history
submitted by DelightfulRainbow205 to copypasta [link] [comments]


2020.09.05 12:35 Vaemoo Started as Rurik, went on to form Scandinavia. Who needs Kievan Rus anyways?

Started as Rurik, went on to form Scandinavia. Who needs Kievan Rus anyways? submitted by Vaemoo to CrusaderKings [link] [comments]


2020.09.03 21:38 dankchaos what if the Kievan Rus was never destroyed?

Ögedei Khan dies earlier, before they invade the Rus therefore the mongols return to their land to choose the new Khan and never succesfuly comeback like in OT
submitted by dankchaos to HistoryWhatIf [link] [comments]


2020.09.03 05:25 Daniel_The_Thinker What is it about medieval Norse Culture and Geo-politic that lent itself to fighting as an industry (Raiding and Mercenary Work)?

I read that Sweden has a massive drain of man power as young men would leave the country in order to fight in the Varangian Guard, as well as for the Kievan Rus and England.
That coupled with the Viking infamy for raiding makes me wonder: Didn't they have anything to do in their homelands? What about national defense?
submitted by Daniel_The_Thinker to AskHistorians [link] [comments]


2020.09.01 20:55 Tiny_curly_legs Why is Kievan Rus' called Russia in the early start?

Why is there Russia( not Kievan Rus, Rus, or Ruthenia) in 800th? And Moskva that was created 900 years later? What is that Russian culture at least 100 years before the word SIMILAR to Russia was used?
submitted by Tiny_curly_legs to CrusaderKings [link] [comments]


2020.08.31 19:54 iliekcats- keep trying until it works

📷
Hi, you're on a rock, floating in space. Pretty cool, huh? Some of it's water. Fuck it, actually, most of it's water. I can't even get from here to there without buying a boat. It's sad. I'm sad. I miss you.
H O W D I D T H I S H A P P E N ?
A long time ago... actually, never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right? Like I said, it didn't happen. Nothing was never anywhere. That's why it's been everywhere. It's been so everywhere, you don't need a "where". You don't even need a "when". That's how "every" it gets.
...
Forget this, I wanna be something, go somewhere, do something. I want things to change, I want to invent time and space, and I know it's possible because everything is here, and it probably already happened. I just don't know when to start... and that's exactly where it started.

Woah, I paused it. I think there's a universe now. What's it made of?
Q U A R K S A N D S T U F F
Ah, that's a thing, in a place! Don't like it? Try a new place, at a different time. Try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier... but it's not empty yet. It's still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.

Great news! The quarks are now happily married in groups of three, called a "proton" or a "neutron", and there's something else flying around that wants to join in, but can't cause it's still too
H O T

Great news! The protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other! Some of them even doubled up.

Great news! The electrons have now joined in.
Congratulations, THE WORLD IS NOW a bunch of gas in space... but it's getting closer together...
<10 million years later>
...and it's getting closer together...
<500 million years later>
...and it's getting closer toget-
BOOMI T ' S A S T A R
New shit just got made! Some stars burn out and die. Bigger stars burn out and die with passion and make some brand new way crazier shit.
S P A C E D U S T
...which allows for newer and more interesting stars to be made, and then die and explode into
E V E N C R A Z I E R S P A C E D U S T
So now, stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. Like this ball of flaming rock, for example...

Holy shit, we just got hit by another ball of flaming rocks, and it kind of... made a mess, which is
N O W T H E M O O N
Weather update! It's raining rocks from outer space. Weather update! Those rocks might have had water inside of them and now there's hot steam in the sky. Weather update! Cooler temperatures today and the floor is no longer lava. Weather update! ...it's raining. Severe flooding alert! The entire world is now an ocean. Volcano alert!
T H A T 'S L A N D !
there's life in the ocean.
What?
S O M E T H I N G ' S A L I V E I N T H E O C E A N
Oh, cool! Like, a plant or an animal? No, a microscopic speck! It lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever...

Oh yeah, and it can do that.

It has secret instructions written inside itself, telling it how to build another one of itself. So, that's pretty nifty, I would say. Tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?
N O W Y O U C A N E A T S U N L I G H T
"Using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food."
T A S T E T H E S U N
Side effect: Now there's oxygen everywhere and the sky is blue. Then the Earth might have been a snowball for a while, maybe even a couple of times.
It's a sponge, it's a plant, it's a worm, and some other types of weird, stranger water bugs and strange fish.
I T ' S T H E C A M B R I A N E X P L O S I O N
Wow, that's animals and stuff, but we're still in the ocean. "Hey, can we go on land?"
N O
"Why?"
T H E S U N I S A D E A D L Y L A Z E R
"Oh, okay."

N O T A N Y M O R E T H E R E ' S A B L A N K E T
Now the animals can go on land. Come on animals, let's go on land! "Nope, can't walk yet, and there's no food yet, so I don't care."
<100 million years later>
Okay, will you learn to walk if there's plants up here? "Maybe," said some bugs, and fish.
"Eh."
"Eh."
"Eh."

"Okay, so I can go on land, but I have to go back in the water to
H A V E B A B I E S
Idea: Learn to use an egg. "I was already doing that!" Use a stronger egg, put water in it, have a baby on land, in an egg. Water is in the egg. Baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg. "Works for me."
B Y E B Y E O C E A N
<50 million years later>
And now everything's huge, including bugs. Wanna see a map of the land? Sure.

Oh, fuck, now everything's dead. Just kidding, here are the survivors. Keep your eye on this one, because it's about to become...
<75 million years later>
...the dinosaurs. Here's another map of the land. Yeah, it broke apart. Don't worry about it, does that all the time. Here comes a meteor.

A N D T H E D I N O S A U R S A R E G O N E
It's mammal time, here come the mammals. Look at those breasts. Now they're gonna dominate the world, but one of them just learned how to grab stuff and walk. No, like, walk like that, and grab stuff at the same time, and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.
"Ouch."
And set things on fire.
"Yeouch."
And make crazy sounds with their voice.
"Gneurshk."
Which can mean different things.
T H A T ' S A H U M A N P E R S O N
And now they're everywhere...almost.
I C E A G E
What? You can walk over here? Cool!
N O T A N Y M O R E
Well, I guess we're stuck here. Let's review: There's people on the planet, and they're chasing their food. "Fuck it, time to plant some grass. Look at this, I get to control the food now. Now, everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. Let's all build houses, except mine is bigger because I own the food." This is great! I wonder if anyone else is doing this?
Tired of using rocks for everything? Use metal! It's underground. Better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping.
G U E S S W H A T H A P P E N S N E X T ?
More food, and more people who came to buy the food. Now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales, and now you need house for people to live in and people to make the houses and now there's more people to make more things for more people and now there's business, money, writing, laws, power.
S O C I E T Y
Coming soon to a dank river valley near you! Meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.
Why is all my metal so lame and lumpy? Tired of using lame, sad metal? Introducing:
B R O N Z E
Made from special ingredient: Tin, from the far lands of Tin Land. I don't know, my dealer won't tell me where he gets it. Also, guess what?
E G Y P T
Meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. Now we're getting somewhere. Also...
C H I N A
And did I mention...
I N D U S R I V E R V A L L E Y C I V I L I Z A T I O N

N O R T E C H I C O
The Middle East is getting more complicated. Maybe because it's in the middle of the East. Knock knock, er, clop clop, it's the people with the... horses, and they made an empire, and then everyone else copied their horses.
G R E E K S
Ah, look, it must be the Greeks... er, a beta version of the Greeks. Let's check in with the Indus River Valley Civilization... they're gone. Guess who's not gone?
C H I N AN E W A R R I V A L S I N I N D I A M A Y B E I T W A S T H O S E H O R S E P E O P L E I W A S T A L K I N G A B O U T O R T H E I R C O U S I N S O R S O M E T H I N G A N D T H E Y W R O T E S O M E H Y M N S A N D M A N T R A S A N D S T U F F
You could make a religion out of this.
There's the Bronze Age collapse.
N O W T H E P H O E N I C I A N S C A N G E T D O W N T O B U S I N E S S
Also, can we switch to a metal that's a little easier to find? Thanks. Look who came back to Israel: It's the twelve tribes of Israel.
A N D T H E Y B E L I E V E I N G O D
Just one, though. He's got, like, a ten step program.
Here's some huge heads, must be the Olmecs. The Phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies. Here comes the Assyrian Empire. Never mind, it's the Babyloni- Media-
I T ' S T H E P E R S I A N E M P I R E
Wow, that's big.

Ah, the Buddha was just enlightened! "Who's the Buddha?" This guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we're all dying. You could make a religion out of this!
Oops, China just broke, but while it was breaking, Confucius was figuring out how to have good morals.
Ah, the Greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff, and right over here, Alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire Persian Empire. It's a great idea, he was great... and now he's dead. Hopefully the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them.
Knock knock, it's Chandragupta. He says "Get the hell out of here. Will you get the hell out of here if I give you 500 elephants?" "Okay, thanks, bye."
T I M E T O C O N Q U E R A L L O F I N D I A
Or...
M O S T O F I N D I A
But what about this part? That's the Tamil Kings, nobody conquers the Tamil Kings. Who are the Tamil Kings?
M E R C H A N T S P R O B A B L Y A N D T H E Y ' V E G O T S P I C E S
"Who would like to buy the spices?" "Me!" said the Arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.
Hey, China put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy. Actually, they have three main philosophies.



Out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city.

Let's check the Greekification levels of the Greekified kingdoms. GREEKIFICATION OVERLOAD! "Bye," said the Parthians. "Bye," said the Jews. "Hi," said the Parthians, taking over the entire place. "Heeeeey" said the Romans, eating the entire Mediterranean for breakfast. "Thanks for invading our homeland," said the Jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland.
"Hi, everything's great," said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which actually makes him more popular. You could make a religion out of this!
Want silk? Now you can buy it from China. They just made a
B R A N D N E W R O A D T O T H E W O R L D

Or you can
G E T T H E R E O N W A T E R
"Sick! New trade routes!" said India, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast. Hmm, that's a good place for an epic trading kingdom.
There goes Buddhism, travelling up the Silk Road. I wonder if it will reach China before it collapses again?

Remember the Persian Empire? "Yep," said the Persians, making a new one. Axum is getting so powerful, they would like to build a long stick. Has anyone populated Madagascar yet? Let's do it together!
C H I N A I S W H O L E A G A I NT H E N I T B R O K E A G A I N
Still can't cross the Sahara Desert? Try camels.
H E L L Y E A H N O W W E ' V E G O T B U S I N E S S
...said the Ghana Empire, selling lots of gold... and slaves.
"Hi, I'm a member of the Roman Empire, and I was wondering...
I S L O V I N G J E S U S L E G A L Y E T
"No."
"Actually, okay, sure," said Constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his
M A I N R I V A L
Don't worry about Rome, it won't fall.
I T ' S T H E G O L D E N A G E O F I N D I A
There's the Gupta Empire, not Chandragupta, just Gupta... first name Chandra... the First.
Guess who's in Rome?
B A R B A R I A N S
What's a barbarian? "Non-Romans," said the Romans, being invaded by non-Romans. R.I.P. Roman Empire... actually, just half of it, the other half is just fine, but it's not in Rome anymore, so let's give it a new name.
T H E M A Y A N S H A V E F I G U R E D O U T T H E S T A R S
Oh, and here's a huge city. Population: Everyone. The Göktürks have taken over the entire Eurasian steppe. Great job, Göktürks. How's India? Broken. How's China?
B A C K T O G E T H E R
How's those trading kingdoms?
B I G G E R A N D T H E R E ' S M O R E O F T H E M
Korea has three kingdoms. Japan has a kingdom, it's the Sunrise Kingdom.

Deep in the Arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real God whispers in Muhammad's ear. So, he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and tells them their gods are all fake, and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. You could make a religion out of this, and maybe conquer the world as well.
The Roman empire is long gone, but somehow, the Pope is still the Pope. Plus, there's
N E W K I N G D O M S A L L O V E R E U R O P E
I wonder if there is room for Moors?
Here's all the wisdom in a house. It's the Baghdad House of Wisdom, just in time for the
I S L A M I C G O L D E N A G E
"Let's bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the Swahili on the Swahili Coast," said the Swahili on the Swahili Coast.
Remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? Someone owns that now!
Wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?
The Franks have the biggest kingdom in Europe, and the Pope is so proud that he invites the King over for Christmas. "Surprise! You're the new Roman Emperor!" said the Pope, pretending to still be part of the Roman Empire. Then, the Franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called France and not-France.
The Northerners, or just "Norse" if you don't have much time, are exploring. They go north, from the north to the northern north, and they find some land. Two types of land, and they name them accordingly.


They also invade some other places and get called many names, such as "Vikings". There's the Rus, the Kievan Rus. Are they Vikings? "I don't think so," said the Kievan Rus. Okay, fair enough.
The Pope is ready to make some more emperors of the Roman Empire: The Holy Roman Empire. It's actually Germany, but don't worry about it.
New kingdoms!
*C H R I S T I A N I Z E A L L T H E K I N G D O M S
Which brand would you like?
"Mine's better."
"Mine's better."
"Mine's better."
"Time to conquer England," said William.
It's a bird, it's a plane!
I T ' S T H E S E L J U K T U R K S
"Aah!" said the Byzantine Empire, who's getting so small and almost doesn't exist anymore. "We need help!" They need help, so they call the Pope. "Hey Pope, can you help us get rid of the Seljuks, maybe take back the Holy Land on the way? C'mon, I know you want to take back the Holy Land." "Yes, I do actually want to do that. Let's do a Crusade."
C R U S A D E
They did many Crusades, some of which almost didn't fail, but at least the Italians got some sweet trade deals.
Goodbye Mayans.
H E L L O T O L T E C S
Goodbye Toltecs.
H E L L O M I S S I S S I P P I
Look at those mounds.
There's the Pueblo. I always wondered how to build a town in a cliff.
Guess who's here? Khmer. Where? Here, and Pagan is there. Vietnam unconquered itself, Korea just became itself, and Japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government. China just invented bombs and typing, and the Mongols just invaded most of the Universe. Nice going, Genghis! I bet that will last a long time.

Some of the Islamic Turks were unaffected by the Mongol invasions because they were too busy invading India.
Is it Tonga time? I think it's Tonga time.

I just figured out where the Swahili gets all their gold. Look at this chad! It means "lake". There's an empire there, right in the middle of
A F R I C A
The King of Mali is so rich, he's going on tour to let everyone know. "Wow, that guy's rich," everyone said.
The Christians are doing a great job reconquering Iberia, which will soon be called Spain and not-Spain. Please remain Christian, we will check in later to see if you are still Christian when you least expect it.
Whoops, half of Europe just died.
M I N G
China's back, yay!
Hey, Khmer, time to share. New kingdoms, here and there. Oh, look who controls all the islands, it's the Mahajapit.

Majahapit.

Mapajahit.

Mahapajit.

Mapajahit.

Ma... ja... pa... hit?

Oh, Italy's real rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. It's kinda like a rebirth. Here's a printer, let's make books!
So you think you can conquer the Byzantine Empire? "Yep," said the Ottoman Turks. Nice job, Ottoman Turks. Oops, you missed a spot. Don't forget to ban Europe from the Indian spice trade. "What? That's bullshit!" said Portugal, spiceless.
W E L L I G U E S S W E ' L L H A V E T O F I N D A N O T H E R W A Y T O I N D I A
"Wait!" said Christopher Columbus, probably smoking crack. "If the world is round, let's go this way to India!" "Nah, don't worry, we already got this," said Portugal. So, Chris goes to Spain. "Hey Spain, wanna hire me to find India by going around back of the world?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No." "wtf"
"Please?"
"...okay."
So he sails into the ocean and discovers... more ocean, and then discovers the Indies and Japan! Let's draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world.
The Aztec and the Inca empires are off to a great start. I wonder if they know that Europe just discovered their continent.
The Habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families, they might have to start marrying each other.
Move over, Lithuania, here comes Moscow. Ivan wants to make Russia great again. Move over, Timurids, maybe go invade India or something. Persia just made Persia Persian again. Let's make it the other kind of Islam, the one where we thought the first guy should've been the other guy.
"Hey Christians, do you sin? Now you can buy your way out of Hell!" "That's bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that's a scam, fuck the Church, here's 95 reasons why," said Martin Luther, in his new book which might have accidentally started the Protestant Reformation.
"You know what would be magnificent?" said Suleiman, wearing an onion hat. "What if the Ottoman Empire was... really big?" which it is now. "What if Russia was big?" said Ivan, trying not to be terrible.
Portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire Indian Ocean, including the spice trade, and then that dream was real. And Spain realized that this is not India, but they pillaged it anyway. "Damn," said England and France, "we gotta start pillaging some stuff." Then the Dutch revolt, and all the hipsters moved to Amsterdam. "Damn," said Amsterdam, "...we gotta start pillaging some stuff."
Question one: Can you get to India from North America? No, but at least there's beaver. Question two: Steal the spice trade. That's not a question, but the Dutch did it anyway.
S U G A R
Guess where all the sugar is made? In Brazil... stolen! In the Caribbean, and it's so goddamn profitable, you might forget to do slavery.
The next thing on Russia's to-do list is to get bigger.
Britain and France are having a friendly discussion about who should control the world, more specifically, Ohio. Then, it escalates into a seven-year discussion, giving Prussia a chance to show Austria who's boss. But, what about Britain and France, did they figure out who's boss? Yes, they did, it's Britain. Guess who's broke? Also Britain. So, they start taxing the hell out of America. "Fuck you!" said America, declaring their independence and fighting for it, and France helps them win. Now, France is broke, and Britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent.
Wait, if France is broke, why do the King and Queen still wear such fancy dresses? "Let's overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!" said Robespierre, cutting everybody's head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off. You can make a reli-
No, don't.
Haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. "Why didn't we think of this before?"
Wait, who's in charge of France now?
M E
Said Napoleon, trying to take over Europe. Luckily, they banished him to an island.
B U T H E C A M E B A C K
Luckily, they banished him to another island.
There goes Latin America, becoming independent in the Latin American wars of independence.
Britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make
M A N Y D I F F E R E N T T Y P E S O F M A C H I N E S A N D F A C T O R I E S W I T H M A C H I N E S I N T H E M S O T H E Y C A N M A K E A L O T O F P R O D U C T S R E A L F A S T
Then they invent some trains and conquer India, and maybe put some trains there. "Hey, China!" said Britain, "buy stuff from us!" "Nah dude, we already got everything," says China, so Britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked actually, but then China made it illegal and dumped it all in the sea, so Britain threw a hissy fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island.
Britain and Russia are playing a game where they try to stop the other person from conquering Afghanistan. Also,
T H E S U L T A N O F O M A N L I V E S I N Z A N Z I B A R N O W
That's just where he lives.
India just had a revolution and they would like to govern themselves now. "Nope," said Britain, governing them even harder than before.

T E C H N O L O G Y I S A B O U T T O G O C R A Z Y
The United States finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. It's bad, they decided, and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the Mexicans too.
"I know, let's rape Africa!" said Europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest.
T H E Y N E V E R G O T E T H I O P I ^^^^^^A
Britain and France are still hungry.
T H E Y N E V E R G O T T H A I L A N ^^^^^^D
The United States ran out of destiny to manifest, so they're looking for more.
H A W A I IC U B A
Wait, Spain controls Cuba. "Well, blame something on them and go to war. What should we blame on Spain?"

"Let's blame the Maine on Spain." So they blame the Maine on Spain. Now we're in business. To celebrate, they kick Panama out of Panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans.
Britain just found oil in the Middle East.
I T M A K E S C A R S G ^^^^^^O
China is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government... which is accidentally weaker and is controlled by a guy from the previous government.
Europe hasn't had a war since the last war, so they start World War One. Look at those guns! It's gonna be a great war, so great we won't need a second one. After it's over, they blame Germany.
Russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government, now everyone's paycheck is the same.
C O M M U N I S M I N T H E S O V I E T U N I O N
The Arabs revolt and Britain helps, now the Ottoman Empire is gone, so we can give the
J E W I S H P E O P L E A P L A C E T O L I V E
Hopefully the Arabs won't mind.
"Let's cut the cake!" said Sykes and Picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-Ottoman-anymore-empire.
E X C E P T T U R K E Y T U R K E Y M A K E S A B R A N D N E W T U R K E Y
And then the Saudis conquer Arabia. It just seemed like the right thing to do.

"Hello?" "Yes, it's the 1920's calling. Let's get to a car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies! The economy is great and it will probably be great forever... just kidding."
Germany's back, featuring Hitler, the angry mustache model, and he's mad at the Jews for existing.
Japan is finally conquering the East, and they're so excited, they rape Nanking way too hard. They should probably just deny it.
Hitler's out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all the Jews is a bad idea, but he kills himself before they could explain it to him.
T H A T ' S W O R L D W A R T W O
Bonus round! Pacific Showdown! United States vs. Japan! FIGHT!


Finish him!

Let's unite all the nations and have some
W O R L D P E A C E
Seems legit.
"Hi, I'm Gandhi, and if Britain doesn't get the hell out of India, I'm going to starve myself in public."

"Wow, that worked?"
Bonus, now there's Pakistan. Actually, two Pakistans. One of them can be Bangladesh later.
The Jews and the Arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. "Me!" they both said at the same time. Let's divide up the lands so we're both happy.
S I K E ! T H E Y B O T H G E T A N G R I E R
Look out, China! There's a new China in China! What's on the menu? Communism! "No thanks," said the other China, escaping to an island. I wonder which one is the real China?
There's the Korean War, Korea vs. Korea! Nobody wins, then it's on pause forever. Let's meet the sponsors. Oh, it's the two global superpowers. They're having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which one is an evil virus of Satan.
And they both have atom bombs.
FIGHT!
Wait, no, that would be the end of the world. Let's just keep it cool and spy on each other instead... and make sure we have enough atom bombs. "I'll race you to space!"


Now let's make more countries fight themselves.
Europe is tired of pillaging other continents, and the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged, so here's a new map with new countries. Now you can't tell who they're being pillaged by.
The United States finally decided whether racism is good or bad. They decided it's bad and the world agrees. South Africa might need another minute to think about it.
Let's check the world population!

Woah.
Okay.
The Soviet Union decides to relax a little and accidentally falls apart.
Europe makes a union so now they can all use the same money, except Britain, because they don't feel likt it.
Let's check the mail. Surprise, it's on the computer!
Whoops, someone just attacked America, I bet they'll remember that.
Phone call. Surprise, it's in your pocket! Wanna learn everything? Surprise, it's on the computer! Now your phone's a computer, which is in your pocket!
Whoops, the economy just crashed. Don't worry, the big banks won't fail, because they're not supposed to.
Surprise! Flying robots... with bombs!

Wanna print a brain?
Some people have no friends. Some people have no food. The globe is warming.
A N D T H E O C E A N I S F U L L O F P L A S T I C
"Let's save the planet!" said everybody, not knowing how.
"Let's invent a thing inventor," said the thing inventor inventor after being invented by a thing inventor. That's pretty cool.
By the way, where the hell are we?
THANKS FOR WATCHING HISTORY I HOPE I MENTIONED EVERYTHING

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2020.08.29 11:43 Nikephosphorus "Find of the Century": Trove of silver coins dating back to Kievan Rus found in Ukraine

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History of Russia Part 1 - YouTube Kievan Rus' - Topic - YouTube Ancient Kiev. Millennium of the Baptism of Rus. Popular Videos - Kievan Rus' - YouTube How the Rus became the Russians, slavic history explained ... Kievan Rus’ Official Trailer #2 - YouTube

The Kievan Rus’ – When Vikings and Slavs Cooperated to ...

  1. History of Russia Part 1 - YouTube
  2. Kievan Rus' - Topic - YouTube
  3. Ancient Kiev. Millennium of the Baptism of Rus.
  4. Popular Videos - Kievan Rus' - YouTube
  5. How the Rus became the Russians, slavic history explained ...
  6. Kievan Rus’ Official Trailer #2 - YouTube
  7. Kievan Rus' - YouTube
  8. Kievan Rus - History of Russia in 100 Minutes (Part 3 of ...

How the Rus became the Russians, slavic history explained The ArmChair Historian's video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSm_pazPQm0&t=114sv=GSm_pazPQm0&fea... Kievan Rus' was a loose federation of East Slavic and Finnic peoples in Europe from the late 9th to the mid-13th century, under the reign of the Varangian Ru... 1000 years Baptism of Rus. Kievan Rus. Kiev architecture. Documentary 1988. Тысячелетие крещения Руси. Киевская Русь. Архитектура Киева. Russia Part 1 traces the origins of modern Russia and Ukraine among Slavic tribes, Viking raiders, and the medieval kingdom of Kievan Rus. Mongol hordes brou... Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. Kievan Rus’ is a fascinating geopolitical strategy which is played all over the world. Kievan Rus’: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.oxiwyle... Russia, the Kievan Rus, and the Mongols: Crash Course World History #20 by tony haso. 18:59. Facts about the Kievan Rus by dot. 0:55. AP World History // Slavic Culture & Kievan Rus by Matt Smith. 9:55. Guests in 'The Kievan Rus Park' from Ethiopia ዩክሬን ጉብኝቶች 'History of Russia in 100 Minutes' is a crash course for beginners. Here you will find the complete history summarized and retold in simple language with acc...